Is Mediation Required in a South Carolina Divorce?

Reviewed by Carrie Warner, Attorney at Law, SC Bar No. 72836 · Last reviewed November 2, 2026

Yes, in most cases. Under South Carolina’s Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) Rule 3, contested issues in domestic relations cases filed in family court are subject to court-ordered mediation in every county, and the court will not schedule a final merits hearing until mediation is completed. There are exceptions, including requests for temporary relief, contempt and DSS cases, and a party can ask to be exempted for case-specific reasons.

What Mediation Is

Mediation is a confidential meeting where a neutral person, the mediator, helps spouses try to settle disputed issues such as property division, alimony, custody and child support. The mediator does not decide anything. Any settlement happens only if both spouses agree.

Mediation in South Carolina family court has been required statewide for contested domestic relations issues since January 1, 2016. Many cases settle in or after mediation, though no one can promise that yours will.

Which Cases Must Be Mediated

ADR Rule 3(a) covers “all contested issues in domestic relations actions filed in family court,” unless an exception applies. If you and your spouse agree on everything, there is nothing contested to mediate. If you agree on most things but disagree about one issue, such as who keeps the house, that issue generally must be mediated before a final contested hearing.

Instead of mediation, the rules let spouses agree to other ADR options: binding arbitration of property and alimony issues, or early neutral evaluation of all issues (ADR Rule 4(d)(5)).

Exceptions

Under ADR Rule 3(b), ADR is not required for, among other things:

• requests for temporary relief, such as a temporary hearing;
• appeals;
• contempt of court proceedings;
• family court cases brought by the South Carolina Department of Social Services; and
• cases that have already gone through an ADR conference, unless the rules or a statute require more.

A party can also file a motion to exempt or defer ADR for case-specific reasons (ADR Rules 3(c) and 5(e)). For good cause, the Chief Judge for Administrative Purposes in the circuit may grant it. The rules give the example of a party who cannot participate because of incarceration or a physical or mental condition.

Domestic Violence and Mediation

When there is a history of abuse, sitting across from the other spouse may be unsafe or may make real negotiation impossible. If that describes your situation, talk to your attorney about:

• asking the court to exempt or defer mediation for good cause;
• “shuttle” mediation, where spouses stay in separate rooms and the mediator moves between them;
• online mediation, which the ADR rules allow unless a party objects (Rule 5(h)), with the mediator controlling how it is used; and
• making sure any protection order is respected in how the session is arranged.

Our guide to divorce when there is domestic violence covers safety planning and protective orders. In an emergency, call 911. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233.

How the Mediator Is Chosen

Spouses can agree on a mediator at any time (ADR Rule 4(e)). Attorneys often suggest certified family court mediators they have worked with. A person who is not certified can serve only if all parties agree in writing after the lack of certification is disclosed (Rule 4(a)).

If the spouses do not agree, ADR Rule 4(d) sets out the default process:

1. When a party files a request for a merits hearing, the request must name the agreed mediator or ask the court to appoint one.
2. If no mediator is named, the Clerk of Court appoints a primary and a secondary mediator from the roster of certified mediators for that county, on a rotating basis.
3. Either party can also ask the Clerk to appoint a mediator at any time using a Request for Appointment of Mediator form.
4. The first mediation conference must happen within 30 days of appointment or selection.

The court may also order early mediation of custody or visitation issues (Rule 4(d)(1)).

What Happens at Mediation

Before the session

The mediator may ask each side for a short position memo, generally no more than five pages (ADR Rule 6(c)). Bring or exchange the documents needed to evaluate offers: your financial declaration, account statements, appraisals and any proposed parenting plan.

Who attends

The mediator, both spouses and their attorneys must generally attend in person unless the mediator and all parties agree otherwise or the court orders otherwise (ADR Rule 6(b)). Other people, such as a new partner or a parent, may attend only with the permission of the parties, attorneys and mediator (Rule 5(d)).

During the session

Many family mediations begin with a short joint discussion and then move to separate rooms. The mediator carries offers back and forth and may meet privately with each side. The mediator cannot share what you say privately without your consent (ADR Rule 8(e)). Sessions can be recessed and continued on another date.

Confidentiality

Under ADR Rule 8, mediation communications are confidential and generally cannot be used as evidence in court. That includes settlement proposals, admissions made during mediation, and the mediator’s views. There are limited exceptions, such as threats of violence or plans to commit a crime. Information that would otherwise be discoverable does not become protected just because it was mentioned in mediation.

Cost

When spouses choose their own mediator, they agree on the mediator’s fee. When the Clerk appoints the mediator, ADR Rule 9 sets the hourly rate. Unless the parties agree or the court orders otherwise, the fees are split equally. A party who cannot afford the fee can apply for an indigency exemption before the conference is scheduled.

If You Reach an Agreement

In family court, the mediator gives the parties and attorneys a Memorandum of Agreement (ADR Rule 6(g)). The agreement is not final as a court order until the family court approves it, and the rule places the duty to seek that approval on the parties. Usually the attorneys turn the memorandum into a full marital settlement agreement and present it to a judge.

Read the memorandum carefully before signing. Once the parties sign an agreement reached in mediation, confidentiality is waived as to its terms unless they agree otherwise (Rule 8(b)).

If Mediation Ends in Impasse

An impasse means the spouses could not settle some or all issues. A Proof of ADR is filed with the Clerk showing that mediation happened, and the case can be scheduled for a merits hearing on the unresolved issues. Partial agreements are common. For example, spouses might settle the parenting schedule and leave only alimony for the judge.

Not participating has consequences. If no Proof of ADR is filed on time, the court can order a party to show cause why sanctions should not be imposed, and the rules allow sanctions such as paying fees for violations without good cause (ADR Rule 10).

How to Prepare

• List your priorities and the issues where you can be flexible.
• Know your numbers: income, budget, debts and the value of major assets.
• Think about what a court might do, not just what you want. Your attorney can help with this.
• Plan for a long day. Bring snacks, medications and anything you need to stay focused.

To compare mediation with other paths, read divorce mediation vs. going to court, learn more about our divorce mediation representation in Columbia, or return to the South Carolina Divorce Guide.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is mediation mandatory for divorce in South Carolina?

For most contested issues, yes. ADR Rule 3 makes contested domestic relations issues in family court subject to court-ordered mediation, with listed exceptions.

Do I have to mediate if my spouse was abusive?

You can ask the court to exempt or defer mediation for good cause. Safety arrangements such as separate rooms or online sessions may also be possible. Talk to an attorney about your options.

Can the mediator make a decision in my case?

No. The mediator helps the spouses negotiate. Only a judge can decide contested issues, and a mediated agreement needs family court approval.

Is what I say in mediation confidential?

Generally yes. ADR Rule 8 makes mediation communications confidential, with limited exceptions such as threats of violence.

What happens if mediation fails?

A Proof of ADR is filed showing mediation took place, and the unresolved issues can be scheduled for a hearing before a family court judge.

Sources

• SC ADR Rule 3 (Actions Subject to ADR)
• SC ADR Rule 4 (Selection or Appointment of Neutral)
• SC ADR Rule 5 (The ADR Conference)
• SC ADR Rule 6 (Duties of the Parties)
• SC ADR Rule 8 (Confidentiality)
• SC ADR Rule 9 (Compensation of Neutral)
• SC ADR Rule 10 (Sanctions)